Hello! And welcome to my new blog: Faith, Hope, & Motherhood! 

This is my way of sharing posts with the online world that I'm hoping some people can relate to. This is my journey as a young Christian wife and mother who is still in college, and how I overcome obstacles that life and the Lord throw my way. I'm also hoping to just get my writing skills up as well since I am an aspiring writer, and always have been.

For my first post, I want to briefly explain my view on my religion, and why I have this relationship with my savior, Jesus Christ. The rest you can figure out over time.

I am a Christian. I was baptized and communed in the Lutheran church, but as of recent years I like to declare myself more as a non-denominational christian. I believe in true forgiveness if you truthfully feel repentance in your heart, and that you should pray about the troubles or worries in your life as much as you are thinking about them. I like to believe that the biggest thing Jesus Christ is trying to teach us through our day to day life is LOVE. I believe all things are connected through love, and all things connected in love are also connected to Jesus. 1 John 4:19 says "we love because He first loved us". I also believe that Jesus must be in your heart in order to know what true love is. Another thing I like to follow is that I am not trying to be a perfect christian - I am trying to be more like Christ.

I struggled with my faith throughout high school. I was dating a realist - an atheist for much of that time, which made my connection with Christ hard to grasp. I hate to admit it, but there was a time when I denied the existence of Jesus, even though I was raised to believe in Him and his power and grace. Since then I struggled to really truly believe in God. I was so doubtful of so many things. For some reason faith alone wasn't enough for me, but I needed proof.

I have dreams, and visions - I always have. If you don't believe me, then I hope that despite your skepticism, you will think about what I'm about to tell you, and reconsider the strength and power of God.
About a year after I started dating my now husband, I had a vision of Jesus standing behind him as we hugged and cried. We poured out our love for each other and I reached out for Jesus as he told me "I gave you him for a reason." Not too long after that encounter we pretty much eloped and got married - I was 20. On the day of our marriage it started raining right as we said I do. To this day I am convinced that it was Jesus and the angels blessing our marriage in the name of Him who brought us together. "I have found the one whom my soul loves" - Song of Solomon 3:4

Within 6 months of marriage we found out that we were expecting. As amazing as it is to think of the Lord blessing me, and giving me the opportunity to grow life in His name, and to pass on the love and life He has given our souls 8 months after giving birth, this wasn't the plan that we had for ourselves. We were actually planning on going back to university that fall, but the Lord has His own plans as we found out. "You can make many plans, but the Lord's purpose will prevail" - Proverbs 19:21.

However, I had a very hard time accepting my pregnancy and my soon to be motherhood. I felt like I was giving up a lot of the things that I wanted. I tried to turn to Christ in these dark times as much as I could, but even then my faith was lacking. I was once again feeling doubtful. Doubtful of myself, the future and God.

The day I went into labor came 3 weeks earlier than my due date. 3 weeks earlier than I had prepared myself for. I had barely made progress on accepting my pregnancy, and here I was - a mother. The day I was handed my daughter after an 18 hour labor, everything came rushing through my mind that I had gone through in the previous 9 months. It all clicked - it all felt worth it. It all made sense. I had a glimmer of faith in my heart, and love was soaring through me as I embarked on my journey in motherhood.

I quickly found out the real dangers and feelings of post-partum depression. I was feeling like a failure worse than I ever had before. I was more lost by the day, as each hour dragged on I was plunging deep into a dark hole.

One time I was crying, alone, and seeking some kind of help. I got on my hands and knees and started praying. I was scared. I felt a fear I had never felt - and it was because I could feel God. I was having another vision as I had once before I got married. He showed me the day of my wedding. He showed me him standing beside my pastor under the trees. He was showing me that He has always been there, and will continue to be there and that this was his plan for a reason even if I didn't understand. I woke up from this vision and went to look at a picture of my wedding hanging on my living room wall. That's when I saw. I can see Jesus standing perfectly in that photo. Later on that same day a verse showed up on my news feed on one of my social networking sites stating John 13:7 - "Jesus replied, 'You do not realize what I am doing now, but later you will understand.'" That's when it all really hit me. For the first time in years I felt Jesus in my heart truly and deeply that night.

Now, since then, I understand why all these things happened in the way that they did. It was all to bring me closer in my relationship with Jesus. And as of recently after some bible study and an amazing experience at a church back home, I have decided to spend the rest of my life trying to be more like Christ all the while praising and loving Him!

It has been a roller coaster of a ride so far, but I'm getting my husband on board with Jesus as well. He is turning into such a godly man, and it makes me so excited to see what else Jesus can do for our relationship, as well as the rest of our lives.

I am basically a new found christian with a new found love for Christ. So I started this blog to help me grow in my love for Christ while also trying to reach out to show others his amazing grace! I have a long way to go, and a lot more to learn but I am so excited for the future. My life has changed so dramatically already since I have let the Lord into my heart.

It took me awhile to really see Christ working in my life, and I am shocked that I never realized his power a long time ago. After years of going to church, and trying to rekindle my faith - He was beside me all along. He was always on my team. I can't believe it took something like my daughter and a marriage to m soul mate to realize it all. His majesty and grace can be seen in so many aspects throughout everyday, all over the world. It's so amazing  to see His works!

I want to end my first blog post in prayer which is something I will probably do often. (I'm hoping I can at least keep up with posting with all the things going on in my life).

Dear Lord,

Thank for this opportunity to possibly reach out to other people who are struggling in their day to day lives whether it be in their relationships or with parenting. Whatever it is, please bless any readers and be with them as they learn to be more like you.

Help me to keep growing and to keep learning to love and learn your ways. Give me the strength and patience to get through each day that holds it's own obstacles every day. I understand that you have a greater plan for all of us, and I am letting you take control of my life. I trust you, Lord, with my life and soul because you showed the ultimate sacrifice and display of love by dying for us on the cross.

Amen.